Well after a week lazing in the sun and swimming I finally find no more excuses to put off writing. Actually, I'm only writing cause I don't want to do my washing. I'm on my last solo vacation ever and I don't want to cook, wash, or clean. I'm being entirely selfish and watching tv, reading millions of books, eating out, sleeping in...all things I figure I should enjoy since they won't be so easy to manage in a few months time. Mostly enjoying my solitary time, but with odd moments of tears of loneliness or sheer panic at the "WTF I'm having a baby alone" situation.
I'm kinda used to the idea of being pregnant now so don't have to keep being shocked when I wake up and see my ever growing belly. In fact, I'm loving the fact that my baby boy kicks now. It's the best feeling in the world. I've started talking to him even though I'm not really sure what to say. I sort of baby talk the same way I talk to my pets.
I've started doing serious baby shopping, but part of me is just stunned that something so amazing is happening to me - I'm buying baby clothes but I can't quite imagine what he's going to look like, or that he really will be mine. Some days I admit I've thought it's TOO good and someone will come in and sweep away my baby, or that he'll be born with something broken. And some days I have found myself apologising to him for not giving him a father or a more traditional family. Other days I just cry cause I'm so happy and it feels so right and I know we'll be okay.
So you can see - up and down with the hormones and emotions. So I haven't really blogged in detail cause everything changes so often!
It's much harder travelling pregnant alone than I thought. My back is really sore so I have to plan each day in details - buses I'll catch, what I can achieve without overdoing it, rest stops, nap times, how much I can carry and when I will treat myself to a cab. Add to it weird discharges, thrush, rashes, heartburn and million tiny complaints and it's a challenge! Carrying a bag with all sorts of medication and creams and water and such. But I guess that's what being a mum is going to be like. Planning, taking things slower and more easy, bite size chunks of life at a time! Pregnancy is kinda sneaky in that it prepares you for what is too come I think.
Once I get back home in a few weeks things really start to progress. More appointments, back care classes, parenting classes, building the nursery and buying the last few big things I need, baby showers, hiring someone to take over my job for real and working out my maternity leave. So I best enjoy the stillness of this last holiday!