Friday, April 17, 2009

The "P" Word...

What is the "P" word I hear you ask? It's pity!

Someone who used to be part of my life, and is no longer, caught wind of the pregnancy and went out of her way to send a jaunty little email about "How she feels nothing but pity for me" over the pregnancy.

Oh, how I raged. When I wake up at night now to go to the loo I like to lay awake and wish all sorts of karma onto her. How dare she?

I wonder why she feels pity? Cause the baby won't have an active bio-father? Cause I'm single and in a rented house while she is quite wealthy?

I just don't get it but I figure it's the first arrow in what may be a battle I'll face constantly - those that take pity on a single mother. Has anyone got any good comebacks? I mean this child is wanted, will be loved by my family across the generations, will be born to a healthy mother with no drug or alcohol issues and a good education, living in a great family house and with a good white collar job to live a moderate lifestyle. And did I mention it will be loved already? As far as situations goes I've seen a lot worse - including my own childhood and I did indeed have two parents!

She can just blow me.


  1. I wish I could think of something horribly snarky- this girl sounds like a real bitch.
    You should ask her what sort of person would have that kind of reaction to such happy news. And tell her that you don't need her pity and if she has nothing but bitchiness to offer then she can just lose your email address.

    What is wrong with people?!

  2. I think your second last paragraph is an excellent come back! It's disgustingly condescending to "pity" you, and implies, to me at least, that you don't want the baby, which is a horrible thing to assume, and I can only imagine stems from her own insecurities. Just because she doesn't think she could hack it as a single mum doesn't mean that you won't. Ugh.

  3. Welcome to parenthood!! Unfortunately, as you're already discovering, not everybody is wonderfully supportive - I don't think I even really understood what 'passive aggressive' meant until I joined the mummy club.

    Don't worry, just remember that her comment speaks immeasurably more about HER than anything. On the upside, I know once I had kids I suddenly cared a whole lot less about what people thought of me. Even in terms of performing. Suddenly a bad gig would be like 'well, who really cares? I've got kids at home who are happy, healthy, love me and think I'm the most awesome and well informed person on the planet.' Parenting is tough, for sure, but so is any amazing accomplishment - and it puts your whole life (and many other things) into a new perspective.

    I think it's awesome you're embarking on this journey - as you said, the baby is wanted. That's all you've gotta know, the rest is just details. Oh and surround yourself with people who smother you with support and positivity. Go forth and conquer!! xxx

  4. She doesn't pity you in the least. She clearly only said that because she knew you'd obsess over it. People like this don't give a damn about others, so don't waste another ounce of energy on thinking about her- that would be giving her what she wants, which is more attention. She's probably a jealous, lonely nitwit. Shame on her.

  5. What a hag. We pity those we imagine are in a worse position than us, so clearly she just has some fucked-up need to feel superior. I'd write back that I feel nothing but pity for her because she's a waste of flesh.

  6. The only comeback I know of that's appropriate is also pretty impolite:

    "Go fuck yourself."